Reasons why President Obama is not Satan

I have conclusively proved Obama is not Satan.  I know we were all wondering, but here it is.  I have it.

Or Kenya.  Regardless, he's human.  We have a birth certificate.  From somewhere.  And everyone can accept that the ultimate evil on this earth, he-who-must-not-be-named, is certainly not human.  A human would never be capable of doing such evils!

The fact is, humanity is a very good disprover of Obama's satanic roots.

How is that a proof of him not being Satan, you ask?  Certainly smoking is a definite proof of evil! For only evildoers smoke!  One, that is a common misconception...I greatly enjoy cigars, as much of a sin as that may be.

Two, Obama USED to smoke (gotcha on that one).  Thus, he is becoming less evil.  Satan is a constant source of evil in our existence.  Obama is trying to better himself...no evildoer would ever improve over time.

Certainly, Satan can only live in a "hell".  The White House cannot be described as a "hell for several reasons.

The primary reason is that it is white.  White is a symbol of purity, in a symbolic sense.  Not in a racial sense...unless you believe dark skin was the curse laid upon the Lamanites, then maybe.

The secondary reason is that it has been inhabited by people who could have been considered Christians.  Such as Warren G. Harding.  He even has a university in Arkansas named after him...Harding University, a private Christian school.  If he inhabited the White House, it is certainly not Hell.

The third reason I'd give is that its not constantly on fire.  Because Hell is on fire.

He doesn't.  He just doesn't.

Or, I can't prove that he does.  There are no pictures from the campaign trail, there are no complaints from aids, I haven't seen him at a press conference with either of these implements.

However, maybe this is a disguise created by the liberal news media?  If anyone can find evidence of a photograph, I may have to reconsider this posting.

We've all heard Biden make foolish public comments. But Joe Biden, to the best of my knowledge, has not shot anyone in the face with a shotgun.  He does not act as a replacement to Satan would.  I think that proves Joe Biden isn't a replacement Satan, thus making Obama not Satan.

Now, Cheney on the other hand, acts in every way like a replacement Satan.  What that says about his president, G.W. Bush, I'll leave for the reader to decide.  But his actions are suspicious, to say the least.  I think the clincher for me was the theft of my unborn child for the purpose of "government approved satanic research".  

Neither Obama nor Joe Biden have visited my house for the purpose of stealing any relative of mine.  So, to the best of my knowledge, they are not Satan or his handmaidens.

You're welcome, America. You're welcome.

This was in fun.  Its not my best work.  Please read my real hubs. But Obama isn't Satan. Even I can admit that.